(Fwd) Questions of our time

["Lianne Fisher" <lfisher@ff101.undp.org>]

Hi everybody.  This just in and totally cracked me up... thought you 
all might enjoy it!!

Cheers,

Lianne

***************

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train
stops.  On my desk I have a work station...

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with,
"Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge
of everything outdoors?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?  What are
we  supposed to do...write to these men? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while
they delivered the mail?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
OTHERS here for?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he
still wrong?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?


---

Clones are people two.

VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.

Go ahead and take risks....just be sure that everything will turn out
OK.

No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of
portraits by Picasso.

I think women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Think "honk" if you're telepathic.